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Thursday, November 29, 2007

just damn sian about everything right now.
cut my thumb this morning, my toe still not alright. went to cut my hair as well.
i wonder if i can surivive with all these defects. -.- (minus the hair part)
dental once i come back from eagles and i havent been putting those elastics cause i will talk funnily and the gums gonna hurt. (no pain no gain..)

seems like being a 'parent' isnt easy at all. seriously.
this is just a prelude.
if i am going to be a working parent with kids. hopefully they arent any bit be like my brother or even sister.
can say i've been trying to juggle cca, work (initially thought that i could do with some work, to earn abit of extra money and for some experiences, on the other hand maybe for nyaa), homework (which i have no time for anymore which i thought i could clear it the fastest and also study for the next year since i did badly this year),responsibility of the oldest child which includes taking care of siblings and making sure the house is alright, doing all the household chores as well, and here comes the projects which i thought i could rely on friends but unfortunately no mercy was given.
my leader mentioned that leeway is given to me, but i dont understand why for the cold attitude and the so called seriousness of the wrath i've incurred. period.
i give up explaining for myself, to him, to all.

i am tired of screaming at my uncaring siblings to get the hell out of my way.
jie, what time can i play maple. you can go do your project on your laptop.
and we argues.
(and meanwhile when i want to sleep, you have to switched on all my bedrooms lights just because you couldnt play in the dark.)
jie, i am hungry.
jie, i want toilet paper.
jie, i want this, i want that.
further all, you all wouldnt care less, throws things all over the house which i have to go pick up after.
hello, if you are pri one, you are pardoned. you are a freaking secondary two, going to three boy, and all you care about is that your stomach is satisfied (or even worst, you just eat regardlessly) and you get to maple. at least the pri one kid have more sense than you and your brain.
damn you all. dont you all have legs and hands. why arent you like other people's siblings which mummy always praised of. dont blame me if i aint nice to you as the other sisters are. i've tried and tired all over and over again.
i am not a MAID which seems to be the case you think of me. please.

sigh.
apathetic creatures.
one by one, my respect for you all just decrease.

no use trying to please the whole world. sounds familiar?
the whole world only care their own effing own business.
survival instinct?